How ironic

I have met him again today and color me confused because i don't get him at all.
Mi-a scris. Inteleg ca doar din plictiseala,but still.
Statea afara cu colega de lucru. Vorbeau. Let's call her Kuma.
She's obviously in love with him. What a blind and clueless man.
A handshake later i was trying my best not to smile when i looked at him. Never thought faking a smile is easier than trying to suppress it..
He was just bored,that is all. There is no special meaning behind it. He sees me as an entertaining creature,a pet who's fun to watch.
And it would have been fine. Honestly.
He was installing a standing pole and it hit the ceiling,dislocating a tile, and he struggled to put it back. Me and Kuma were watching and i started smiling really big/borderline laughing. When i looked at him,he was also smiling wide and looking straight at me. It was his usual,sweet smile. The smile i fell for. Why look at me, though? She was there too.
Maybe i'm jut overthinking. There is no meaning behind it,probably.
He's just unaware of the effects he has on me.
Get closer to me or avoid me like the plague. Fill your mind with thoughts of me or exile me from your life. Give me all your attention or deprive me of any. Just please...don't treat me like another friend,with half-assed interest.
I can't take being your friend. I'd much rather be no one than someone of little importance.


But truly,i wish I were the one haunting his dreams. I wish he would lose sleep thinking how to catch me. I wish he would crave my touch and melt at the sound of my voice.
I wish I were the one he wants. I wish he would be my first.
I wish it were mutual.